Originally published under a pseudonym in our January issue of 1984, this story has become viral fodder, circled around the internet (often with credit attributed to authors who did not pen the story). Its suggestions are still relevant, and certainly humorous.
Tore up your knee playing hoops this fall? Are your buddies already razzing you about missing the season? No problem.
One needn’t actually ski to experience the gestalt of skiing; just simulate the psychic and physical sensations. Here are 13 ways to duplicate those ski thrills and really pin the fun meter in the red zone:
Get equipped to capture a frameworthy picture every time.
Here are pro photog Adam Clark's tips on how to take perfect pow shots.
THROW DOWN If you're committed, shell out for a digital camera with a single lens reflex (SLR). The SLR Canon Rebel with a 70-200mm lens is a perfect place to start.
DO YOUR RECON Before a storm hits, find steeps that skiers can hit with speed. Look for shots with an uncluttered background, like the sky or dark cliff bands. Don't shoot against snow: You'll lose all definition.
Pro big mountain skier Seth Morrison shares his tips on skiing a spine.
Planning a to-die-for heli-ski trip? Before you go, learn to charge the best feature on those dreamy steeps.
STEP 1: GO HUNTING Flutes and spines are formed when sloughed-out snow builds up on rocky ridges or where the terrain naturally funnels into a V. They're most common on monster faces in Alaska and BC, but you can find them on any big backcountry peak.