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24-Sushi and Sutra

24-Sushi and Sutra

Advice
posted: 01/01/2000

Aspen, CO, Dec. 10, 2001, 4:00 AM---Eric Archer ended his quest for worldwide domination a few hours ago after team manager Vino Anthony noticed his ailing physical emotion. Not to say that Eric is a quitter in any sense of the word, nor is this race in the wee hours of the morning without a hero. As cliched as it may seem, sixteen hours in, everyone is a hero.

By my commentary, I may seem delirious. Truthfully I am. The bars closed two hours ago and I made the most of what little time I had there. And if I can barely see the words I type, imagine the competitors' mentality. Team USA craves sushi. Team New Zealand has been contemplating favorite sexual positions (Nigel likes the shower and Richard is of the hello-goodbye mentality).

When Eric finished his race, he gave an apt description of the racers' mental states: "I saw some rabbits waving at me on Spar Gulch." Then, "I thought some deer were going to jump out at me...and that would hurt. And they were eating grass. I don't know where that came from." And finally, "I'm going to go drink some Red Bull and vodkas and get a buzz on and then pass out." Hallucinations and random fascination are the norm now, even for spectators. In my mind I whisper, "I see dead people."

What happens now? Germany still leads the race by over a minute. The Swiss team, last year's champions, are second, followed by Team USA. Bars have been closed for two hours. Macaroni and cheese and beef stew sustain SkiNet. Whiskey was found just before midnight and needless to say, it's as spent as I am. Now what happens? Words flow in repetitious loops not unlike those of the competitors. And they've been in training. I'm not sure eighteen-year-old single malt drams can keep SkiNet functioning. It may be time to reevaluate our post.

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