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posted: 02/18/2004

Oh nothing, the little divots are just killing people as usual. In five years at British Columbian resorts, tree wells accounted for 75 percent of the "non-avalanche-related snow-immersion deaths, or NARSIDs as they are known in tragic circles, and six of the total 32 inbounds terminations. Trying to understand the M.O. of these homicidal snow ditches, B.C. experimenters recently tossed six skiers and four snowboarders headfirst into their clutches. Those who managed to click out of their bindings only fell deeper into the sugary abyss. None—zip, zero, nada—rescued themselves. But then, none were wearing vintage Luke Skywalker Utility Belts, complete with timber-destroying lightsaber and life-saving grappling hook. Foolish Canadians.

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