Best Sexual Aid As Life-Saving Tool (or vice versa)

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Snow Reports:

Arapahoe Basin open H 68° L 37° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open 4 of 8 Base Lower/Upper 51/51

Ashcroft Ski Touring closed H 70° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of Base Lower/Upper /

Aspen Highlands closed H 70° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 5 Base Lower/Upper /

Aspen Mountain closed H 70° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 8 Base Lower/Upper /

Aspen/Snowmass Nordic Trail System closed H 70° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of Base Lower/Upper /

Beaver Creek closed H 69° L 39° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 25 Base Lower/Upper /

Breckenridge closed H 66° L 41° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 31 Base Lower/Upper /

Buttermilk closed H 70° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 8 Base Lower/Upper /

Copper Mountain Resort closed H 67° L 40° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 22 Base Lower/Upper /

Crested Butte Mountain Resort closed H 69° L 39° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 16 Base Lower/Upper /

Crested Butte Nordic Center closed H 69° L 39° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of Base Lower/Upper /

Devil's Thumb Ranch closed H 69° L 37° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of Base Lower/Upper /

Durango closed H 64° L 34° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open 9 of 10 Base Lower/Upper 47/51

Eldora Mountain Resort closed H 71° L 40° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 11 Base Lower/Upper /

Gold Run Nordic Center closed H 66° L 41° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of Base Lower/Upper /

Grand Lake Touring Center closed H 68° L 40° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of Base Lower/Upper /

Irwin closed H 69° L 39° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 1 Base Lower/Upper 80/80

Kendall Mountain Ski Area closed H 60° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 1 Base Lower/Upper /

Keystone closed H 65° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 20 Base Lower/Upper /

Loveland Ski Area closed H 68° L 39° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 9 Base Lower/Upper /

Monarch Mountain closed H 75° L 45° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 6 Base Lower/Upper /

Powderhorn Resort closed H 79° L 47° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 4 Base Lower/Upper /

Purgatory at Durango Mountain Resort closed H 80° L 39° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 10 Base Lower/Upper /

Silverton Mountain closed H 60° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 1 Base Lower/Upper /

Ski Cooper closed H 59° L 32° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 5 Base Lower/Upper /

Ski Granby Ranch closed H 69° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 5 Base Lower/Upper /

Ski Hesperus closed H 77° L 44° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 1 Base Lower/Upper /

Snow Mountain Ranch closed H 69° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of Base Lower/Upper /

Snowmass closed H 67° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 21 Base Lower/Upper /

SolVista Basin closed H 50° L 28° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open 0 of 5 Base Lower/Upper 24/25

Steamboat closed H 76° L 49° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 18 Base Lower/Upper /

Steamboat Ski Touring Center closed H 73° L 50° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of Base Lower/Upper /

Sunlight Mountain Resort closed H 74° L 42° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 3 Base Lower/Upper /

Telluride Ski Resort closed H 60° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 18 Base Lower/Upper /

Tennessee Pass Nordic Center closed H 59° L 32° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of Base Lower/Upper /

Vail closed H 67° L 40° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 31 Base Lower/Upper /

Vail Resorts Nordic School closed H 68° L 40° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of Base Lower/Upper /

Vista Verde Ranch closed H 69° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of Base Lower/Upper /

Winter Park closed H 68° L 39° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 26 Base Lower/Upper /

Wolf Creek Ski Area closed H 79° L 38° 24 hour snow " 48 hours snow " Lifts Open of 7 Base Lower/Upper /

It's All About the Penetration
Designed by a joint Swiss-U.S. team, currently being tested by avalanche experts worldwide, and seemingly named by Larry Flynt, the telescoping, motorized snow probe known as the "Penetrometer" might someday be used to quickly detect weak layers in the snowpack. At the moment, though, it's a 25-pound prototype with a ridiculous name.