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What Do Ski Socks Have in Common With Saddam Hussein?

What Do Ski Socks Have in Common With Saddam Hussein?

[ December 9, 2009 - 12:33pm ]
Eesa Hockey Socks
Hint: It’s not a mustache. One Canadian hockey fan test out a pair of ski socks decorated with the Toronto Maple Leafs logo.

Once upon a time, George Bush sr.’s face was painted on the floor of the Al-Rashed hotel in Baghdad. Checking in? Kindly step on the infidel’s face, sir.

I can relate. Every time I walk in these Eesa ski socks, I step on the management team behind the staggering incompetence of the Toronto Maple Leafs, a team that marches to the basement of the NHL’s Eastern Conference with circadian regularity. So I walk on their faces on powder days, and sometimes just around the house with a few stomps thrown in for good measure.

I don’t know how many of these were sold but last year, exactly 2,393,281 pairs of ski socks were bought at ski shops. Socks outsold gloves, goggles, beanies, helmets, and wax. It’s no anomaly. It’s happened for the last five years. And these particular socks should hang in the Louvre. Eesa cheekily appropriated a handful of NHL team logos and wove them into their socks, being careful enough not to get into patent-violating territory. We’re talking designs like the vaguely flame-oriented socks (Calgary), the bleu, blanc et rouge (Montreal), and the stolen Canadian iconography employed by the Leafs.

And now they’re no longer. Eesa has discontinued its line of hockey socks. They’ve retreated into stripes and polka dots and argyle that are just as comfortable and techy only hockeyless. They have gone from perfect to pretty good. They have retreated into mortal sockdom and been innovated out of contention. I’ll think about this when I become customer number 2,393,282. Meantime, I have some faces to walk on.  []  —Jake Bogoch

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