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Are raccoon tans still sexy?

posted: 01/03/2005

In general, bronzed complexions still score more sexy points (meow) than pasty mugs do. That said, your sexiness can be offset (or at least compartmentalized) if your tanned cheeks abut ghostly white eye sockets, temples, and nose bridges—all of which symbolize your failure to remove glasses or goggles on the lift to even out the UV exposure. The sun-tanning industry—dark empire that it is—is on record as abhorring the raccoon-eyes effect. Tanning salons discourage sun-glasses in favor of tiny goggles that cover only the eyeballs and eyelids. And the Jagg Cosmeceuticals Corporation advertises its Tan Ups„¢ Self Tanning Towels as "perfect for getting rid of raccoon eyes. But that didn't stop Flake—or Google—from finding a decorative storage locker (really) named Skip the Skier, who is "…dressed in fine fashion gear and… has acquired a typical skier's raccoon tan. So there you have it: If the raccoon tan isn't universally sexy, it still has its devotees—even if they're a bunch of weirdos who collect kitschy furniture with names only a cruise-ship director could love.

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