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The Case Against Colorado "Native" Bumper Stickers

Then I saw a bumper sticker, designed to look like the Colorado license plate, that read, “No Vacancy.” I was confused. Was it addressing me? Then I got pissed.
posted: 10/28/2008

They call it “The Mistake by the Lake.” Better known as Cleveland. My hometown. Our river, the mighty Cuyahoga, was so polluted that it caught fire, and more than once. So as soon as I turned 18, I got the hell out of there and moved to Colorado so I could ski. And it was great, until I saw a bumper sticker, designed to look like the Colorado license plate, that read, “No Vacancy.” I was confused. Was it addressing me? Then I got pissed. I went nuclear. Really, ass hat? You’re from here so that makes you better than me? You’re communicating to the rest of us, via bumper, that we’re not welcome?

Later, I found out this xenophobic decal was an offshoot of the more popular “Native” bumper stickers. Regional pride is one thing, but shoving your happenstance of birth in the face of honest Midwestern folk who came out here to ski is grounds for a beating. Colorado’s high country is full of unfortunate souls who migrated from shitty burgs because they were looking for something better. And then there are the members of the Ute and Arapaho tribes, Colorado’s true natives, but let’s not open that can of smallpox-carrying worms. So I called the sticker’s distibutor, Sandy Glade of Colorado Mountain Stickers in Lakewood, Colorado, to let her have it.

“Sometimes people think that we’re snobs because we’re so proud,” Sandy says, “but we have a reason to be.” But is “No Vacancy” born of pride? “Yeah. That one ruffled a few feathers, but it’s all in fun,” she replies.

I want to hate Sandy Glade—maybe it’s my defeatist/elitist Cleveland attitude—but I can’t. She’s polite and down-to-earth. She works with her mother. She acquired the business from her brother, who started it in 1979. And we talk about football. Then Sandy lets me in on a little secret: She was born in Utah and moved to Colorado in sixth grade. She’s just another person who migrated from somewhere worse. Like I did. I can relate. Though Utah’s Green River has never spontaneously combusted.

-SKIING MAGAZINE, November 2008

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Those "Native" bumper stickers annoy me to no end! As someone who moved to Colorado from Texas at the tender age of 6 I feel I am technically unqualified to put such a sticker on my car, even though I am way more "native" then all those "Coloradans" who were born here and have never skied a day in their life. Maybe Sandy can start making bumper stickers for people like me...How about "Native by Naturalization", "Native by Choice" or "So what"?

I migrated to Utah a couple of years ago because of the mountains for skiing and the canyons/desert landscape of the southern part of the state. Besides dumb alcohol laws, why is it worse than Colorado? I could brag about things that are better in Utah than next door in CO. You should have said "migrated from somewhere else".

"She’s just another person who migrated from somewhere worse"
Utah is worse than Colorado? Its skiing is better!

Go back to Cleveland.
Guess you ought to purchase the "Transplant" sticker: http://www.coloradomountainstickers.com/pics/Transplant.jpg She could make a mint with a "Californian" sticker.
Some people just have THIN SKIN. I am from Michigan, stumbled across this article and see the humor in it. Nothing more, nothing less. We're all AMERICANS, aren't we? Our Upper Peninsula is amongst the most beautiful scenery in the world and downtown Detroit amongst the foulest. Being in between the two, I have gotten a taste of both and respect God's work now more than ever. Is someone from Colorado better than me just because they live there?! Don't make me laugh. Again.
i agree with the guy who migrated from CO to UT, i moved to utah from michigan in april just in time for spring shredding at snowbird. and utah is dull (besides the skiing). all utah has is churches on every street corner (thanks mormons) and shitty college football teams. i can brag about michigan because they have real booze, and they arent do heavy about their churches
YOU ARE NOT A NATIVE UNLESS YOU WERE BORN HERE BOZO!!!
actually, they do have those bumper stickers for people who moved here from other places. i was at DIA the other day and saw one just like the "native" one that said "california transplant." i'm sure they probably make them for other states too, but honestly, i was born in denver and still live here and i HATE the "native" bumper stickers just as much as people from out of state do.
ok i was born in CO and i love it there! i think people are so paranoid about the stupidest thing! i have a "native" sticker and i am proud of it! get over it! you guys just hate not having your way about everything that doesn't include where you came from! if you are so annoyed by it then go freakin buy a "native" sticker from your own home state. my goodness! it seems that everyone these days gets upset over the stupidest thing! GROW UP!! especially the person who wrote this freakin thing.

Apparently the bumper sticker hit it's mark. Getting worked up about a bumper sticker, look at yourself man. It's people like you ruining the Colorado atmosphere. From a native's point of view anyway...

Colorado: Cool people always welcome. Losers, it's true, there's no vacancy. Back to the hole you came from and leave the fresh stashes for me!

I have a native sticker on my car and I am very proud of it...what is wrong with showing some pride that you were born in Colorado?? Obviously all of you people love it too or you wouldn't be living here right! I think people need to get a life and quit complaining for nothing! Oh yeah...you don't have to ski to be a native...there are many other things to do in those mountains too!!!

I have a native sticker on my car and I am very proud of it...what is wrong with showing some pride that you were born in Colorado?? Obviously all of you people love it too or you wouldn't be living here right! I think people need to get a life and quit complaining for nothing! Oh yeah...you don't have to ski to be a native...there are many other things to do in those mountains too!!!

Wow. You're obviously just overly sensitive of not being a native of a state that you would happily stick "NATIVE" on your car if you could. No worries, though, there is a sticker made for you. It has NATIVE in big letters but reads it like this:
Not a
NATIVE
but I got here as fast as I could.

And the "No Vacancy" sticker is not meant to be rude, it is just an joke on the large amount of "visitors" that end up staying. ;)

What does it tell you when the river running through your town catches fire. Flowing water catching fire, hmm.
I just moved back to CO after 6 long months in Maryland. After spending time outside the state of my birth, I am more than glad to say that, "I'm back". And not soon enough. Traveling around the Mid-Atlantic states then eventually traveling to New York, really opened my eyest to how good I had it. Trying to ski in Pennsylvania was a joke, although only 45 minutes away, the ice laden hill at White Tail just didnt seem to cut it. I took a day trip to NY,NY. My friends had to inform me not to say things like "excuse me" or "sorry" lest open myself to victimization for being "from the country".
Yes, its true, being from CO makes us better than the rest of the United States, but please don't think we don't welcome visitors, just please leave eventually, Highlands Ranch is getting too big, and is encrotching onto open prarie that I would like to enjoy in twenty years.

Don't like it? Stay home then fag.

Colorado is overrated and lame. I teach here and I must say the students and parents are dumber than any other students or parents I have encountered in other states (NY, MD, WA, NC). Seriously, the "Natives" are quite ignorant. Don't try to correct them on their history or grammar, they will argue until the end that you are wrong.

This is for all of you from Texas and California. Bottom line is if you wren't born here you AREN'T a native, end of story. Second, you want to know why you're not welcome here or why you catch so much flack? First, you guys ski in your jeans, wear Dallas Cowboys starter jackets on the slopes, wine about how great Texas is yet you live here (go back dude, we'll all be better off), you drive giant trucks and you think that will help you in the snow all the while driving at or below the speed limit up I-70 unwilling to switch lanes, shall I continue? You folk from Cali, all the above applies with out skiing in your jeans or Dallas Cowboy starter jackets. However, you guys drive like morons, seriously, both of you guys get out of the left lane! If you're nervous, or whatever it is, going up the hill don't ruin my commute by clogging up traffic. Lasty, for gods sake at least change your damn license plates. You take offense to us natives and our pride for having been born here then at least make a concerted effort to hide the fact that you're not from here; completely hypocritical.

That's it, I'm out.

This is for all of you from Texas and California. Bottom line is if you wren't born here you AREN'T a native, end of story. Second, you want to know why you're not welcome here or why you catch so much flack? First, you guys ski in your jeans, wear Dallas Cowboys starter jackets on the slopes, wine about how great Texas is yet you live here (go back dude, we'll all be better off), you drive giant trucks and you think that will help you in the snow all the while driving at or below the speed limit up I-70 unwilling to switch lanes, shall I continue? You folk from Cali, all the above applies with out skiing in your jeans or Dallas Cowboy starter jackets. However, you guys drive like morons, seriously, both of you guys get out of the left lane! If you're nervous, or whatever it is, going up the hill don't ruin my commute by clogging up traffic. Lasty, for gods sake at least change your damn license plates. You take offense to us natives and our pride for having been born here then at least make a concerted effort to hide the fact that you're not from here; completely hypocritical.

That's it, I'm out.

Who are you to cry? People from all over the country move here. (Especially Texas, Cali and Illinois) and put their stupid Longhorn logos and Bears logos on their vehicle. Why can't we put our "no vacancy" stickers on our cars. This city would still be cool like it was in the 80's if it wasn't for all the Texas and Cali and Great Lakes parasites ruining this place so blow it out your a ring.
I love the no vacancy stickers...payback for all the stupid ass longhorn decals and cubs and LA decals and University of Iowa, Florida etc, etc, etc. that I have to cringe at all day long....
Someone needs to make a Colorado Native Bumper Sticker with some jobless guy holding a beer. : )
Lighten up, Bozo. If you're not from here, you're not from here, and we're tired of picking up after you. We spend our time in tourist season, and out of tourist season. The state is better when we're out of tourist season. You clog our ski areas, you rarely know how to ski, you cause havoc at high altitudes because you don't know how to acclimate legitimately, and then expect that Colorado tax payers will pay your medical bills. If there were a good place in New Jersey to go skiing, I might try it. But I wouldn't kvetch and whine about how mean Colorado is. We don't want you to live here, so go home after your vacation is over and then, stay home.
Scott, Your Colorado envy is showing dude and you need to check it. As a NATIVE and skier for over 40 years, I have witnessed for decades, the endless parade of non-NATIVES parade around the state proudly displaying their loyalties (i.e., Chicago Cubs, New York Yankees and yes,...you're even lowly Cleveland Browns.) with no issue on my end. So, allow us ours. As far as Sandy and her business, she does a great job and I proudly display her product on my cars and RV. (She also sells a TRANSPLANT sticker that you may want to consider as an act of contrition, even though I doubt you will.) So, go back to the bunny slopes, young man and try again. While envy is associated with the color green, it is not the green that any true Coloradoan would know or ever want to be associated with. Then again, there's always the "Mistake-by-the Lake" that I'm sure, would welcome you home...again.
Scott, Your Colorado envy is showing dude and you need to check it. As a NATIVE and skier for over 40 years, I have witnessed for decades, the endless parade of non-NATIVES parade around the state proudly displaying their loyalties (i.e., Chicago Cubs, New York Yankees and yes,...even your lowly Cleveland Browns.) with no issue on my end. So, allow us ours. As far as Sandy and her business, she does a great job and I proudly display her product on my cars and RV. (She also sells a TRANSPLANT sticker that you may want to consider as an act of contrition, even though I doubt you will.) So, go back to the bunny slopes, young man and try again. While envy is associated with the color green, it is not the green that any true Coloradoan would know or ever want to be associated with. Then again, there's always the "Mistake-by-the Lake" that I'm sure, would welcome you home...again.
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