Close

Member Login

Logging In
Invalid username or password.
Incorrect Login. Please try again.

not a member? sign-up now!

Signing up could earn you gear and it helps to keep offensive content off of our site.

PRINT DIGITAL

Don't Come-a-Knockin'

Cold Front
posted: 12/13/2004

Last July, the town of Lake Louise announced a proposal to build a six-mile electric fence around its perimeter as a way to keep grizzly bears at bay. (A similar fence recently went up around Lake Louise resort.) We think it's a great idea: Stateside ski areas could benefit from such measures. Below, some suggestions for future barriers.

The Resort: Keystone, ColoradoThe Barrier: A moat filled with warm, soapy water. To Guard Against: Smelly credit-card hippies from Boulder who missed the exit for A-Basin.

The Resort: Hunter Mountain, New YorkThe Barrier: A wall of giant televisions broadcasting Yankees highlights 24/7.To Guard Against: Red Sox Nation.

The Resort: Yellowstone Club, MontanaThe Barrier: Cardboard cutouts of Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh.To Guard Against: Ted Turner.

The Resort: Deer Valley, UtahThe Barrier: A giant dome that covers the resort at the push of a button.To Guard Against: Snowfall-because the filthy rich are entitled to sunny weather.

The Resort: Taos Ski Valley, New MexicoThe Barrier: An ancient family mandate.To Guard Against: Snowboarders. Wait-that one already exists.

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • No HTML tags allowed

More information about formatting options

Type the characters you see in this picture. (verify using audio)
Type the characters you see in the picture above; if you can't read them, submit the form and a new image will be generated. Not case sensitive.
All submitted comments are subject to the license terms set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use