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The Skier's List: 26-50

posted: 07/07/2000

26. Lose both skis, gloves, goggles, and all your spare change in a spectacular yard sale under the chairlift.

27. Take a huge biffer on ice in the parking lot.

28. Get a letter published in SKIING Magazine.

29. Master the one-finger farmer's blow.

30. Ski with Billy Kidd in Steamboat and with Stein Eriksen in Deer Valley.

31. Ski on a volcano:

Cotopaxi, Ecuador; Orizaba, Mexico; Mount Ruapehu, New Zealand; or Hawaii's Mount Mauna Kea. And if those are too far out, you can always ski Mount Shasta, California, or Mount Bachelor, Oregon, both dormant volcanoes.

32. Take a road-trip.
Cancel the Lear, load the van—it's time to blur the white lines. We recommend an early '70s Dodge Tradesman, but really any wheels will do. Just, please, no minivans. Pack a random assortment of stuff, including the Flexible Flyer. Choose car-mates with good compilation tapes (CDs will do, but homemade tapes rule) who tell entertaining snow- and sex-related stories. Fuel up. Beef jerky and cooked-down truck-stop coffee? Ring Dings and Jolt? Go for calories, caffeine, and fat. Aim the rig at snowy hills—the farther away the better—and punch it. Put the copilot on cop watch, urinate seldom and only in gas stations, and eat only at places where credit cards are not accepted. By the time you get to the ski area, you'll feel deliciously weary and smell remarkably like Fritos. Extreme claustrophobia from your ride's jerky-strewn interior will make the white world feel like heaven.--Bill Kerig

33. Do the Utah Interconnect.
On this granddaddy of accessible guided off-piste adventure, you ride slopes and lifts at Park City, Alta, Snowbird, Brighton, and Solitude and ski the untracked backcountry in between. In a single day.

34. Get snowed in at a ski resort.

35. Ski a full day, from first chair to closing bell...all on high-speed lifts.

36. Use a rope tow to reaffirm your appreciation for padded chairlifts.

37. Every year, catch a flake from the first storm of the season on your tongue. 38. Ski until you are over 70 so you can ski free.

39. Ride around the bullwheel, on purpose or not.

40. Go to the Winter Olympics.

41. Get risqué in a gondola, preferably with someone.

42. Do a grab.

43. Be a night rider.

Skiing at night is the kind of pure, unadulterated adventure that's become all but impossible during daylight hours. No big crowds, no grand vistas, no glaring sun, just the elemental experience of setting ski to snow and sailing through the clear night air. Simply put, the world is a different place at night, and skiing after dark can be downright extraordinary. Under the lights, routine runs are magically transformed as every bump and rut is thrown into bold relief. In the half light at trail's edge, the ordinary becomes otherworldly as your senses become attuned to the nuances of the night: the hiss of falling snow, the caress of a cold breeze, the crunch of snow under your skis. Even the hot cocoa in the lodge tastes dreamy. Ultimately, skiing down a mountain under the stars is good for your soul.--Rob Lovitt

44. Click into your skis, set at max DIN, and ride on the roof of a moving car.
(Speed skiers have been known to do this.)

45. Go to a Warren Miller movie, scream like crazy, and spill your beer on the guy screaming next to you.

46. Steal some of those little plastic trays from the resort cafeteria and slide down the mountain after the lifts close.

47. Donate clothing, equipment, money, or your time to a ski program for disadvantaged youth.

48. Write to NBC and insist they devote more airtime during the 2002 Olympics to skiing, preferably at the expense of figure skating.

49. Take a hut trip.

50. Win one of those stupid little NASTAR pins (not bronze).

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