If I could invent a dream heli adventure, it would probably be in Patagonia with three of my buddies. We would start with Argentine swish turns through boot-deep in the shadow of the Fitz Roy. The next day, the heli would ferry us north up the spine of the Andes to another lodge, where we would ski new peaks. This process would repeat itself for about two weeks before we would touch down in Bariloche for a night of steak, wine, and discotheques. Wait—that trip already exists?! Andes Cross, an Argentine guide service specializing in heli-skiing and touring, offers it to anyone willing to part with $80,000. Sign me up. Now I just need to find myself a sugar mama. —K.L.